Maybe the Japanese and Norwegians Are Right

We should be decimating whales right now! They are obviously vicious killing machines, bent on doing evil and destruction.

Kevin Zelnio (870 Posts)


5 Replies to “Maybe the Japanese and Norwegians Are Right”

  1. Or sign the e-petition, Nuke the Whales Now!!!:

    To: Every Country with Nuclear Weapons
    Please nuke the whales now. I don’t like them. They should be nuked.
    Sincerely, …

    It has just over 1000 “signatures”. Some of the comments:

    62:

    Don’t let their innocent eyes fool you! They are deep dwelling denizens of Satan and his unholy army of DOOOOOOOOM!!!! They must be stopped. Osama is a whale! Nuke them! For the love of all that is cheesy and fattening! Nuke them all!!! (start with the orcas!)

    64:

    I feel that Whales serve no viable purpose in the global ecosystem, and there non-existence would not imbalance any food chains. Therefore, NUKE THEM ALL.

    80:

    Whales are harboring terrorists and they themselves are the weapons of mass destruction! Don’t be fooled by their innocent looks. Behind those dumb, “cute” eyes is a cold, calculating, ruthless mind that will stop at nothing to destroy civilization as we know it! We must destroy this menace to mankind once and for all!

    107:

    Nuke the Whales is a non profit organization who’s main goal is the extinction of whales. Whales are extremely harmful to the fishing industry. They eat massive amounts of fish, destroy expensive fishing nets, and even eat many innocent fishermen. If whales were to become extinct, the fishing industry would be dramatically improved. …

    459:

    I dream of waking up in the morning and see the world covered in whale blood and fat.

    476:

    grandma got ran over by a whale, while she was drinking budlight, grandpa says there’s no such thing as whales, but we still keep our nukes and dynamite

    631, “greenpiece representitive” (sic):

    well im tired of stopping those japenese whalers it would be easier to nuke them

    813:

    Exploding whales are hazardous to everyone, including the whale. Google and you will find examples of whales spontaneously combusting. Please nuke them to get the job done faster, as they are not extincting themselves quickly enough.

    “Nuke Teh Gay Baby Whale Terrorists for jesus”

  2. It’s too late. You’ve heard of sharks with lasers attached to their frickin’ heads? Well, the real reason the US Navy is developing anti-whale sonic weapons is that the whales have developed Whales With ICBMs Attached To Their Frickin’ Heads. Soon they’ll decide they’ve had enough of ocean acidification. Twenty minutes later, it will all be over.

  3. I knew there was a reason I like invertebrates so much! They were trying to warn us all along. The whale bone eating worms were trying to get rid of every last remain. The whale louse were trying their hardest… I hope its not all over for us!

  4. Wait … the mermaid is playing the harp UNDER WATER.

    If it weren’t for that I’d say this video was entirely accurate.

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