Coming into the Spring Science Bracket Showdown, the pundits pegged the Invertebrates as the most powerful in the field. Coach Bufo when asked about Team Vertebrates chances stated “We’re a powerhouse dominated by charismatic megafauna! We’re unstoppable!” But stop them is exactly what top seeded Invertebrates did in the first round. “I thought the lack backbone would help us, but we were overwhelmed by their numbers.”noted Bufo after the game. In a surprising appearance by the rarely seen colossal squid, who dished out nine assists, the Invertebrates
handled tentacled the Vertebrate press.
The Invertebrates are scheduled to face off against Surgery who advanced to the second round when Internal Medicine was disqualified for the use of performance enhancing drugs. In an exclusive interview granted to another news agency and not us…
Surgery captain, Dr. Ego Cutsalot, admits his team would have much rather played the vertebrates. “We don’t really know much about bug anatomy,” remarked the head slicer. “That’s what In-ver-tay-brits are, right? Bugs?” A good journalist shouldn’t ever take sides, but those assholes in masks don’t have a freakin’ chance.
Point Lumbricus terrestris for the Invertebrate team told DSN that he welcomed the chance to face off against Surgery. “I lost a family member to the scapel of a young pre-med in an Intro. Biology course. I intend to right that wrong on the court.”