Despite Scandal Invertebrates Take Narrow Win

Coming off an unbeaten road trip and with one of their star players frozen, it would have been easy for the Invertebrates to have a letdown against the lowly Photosynthesis. Instead, Invertebrates continued its strong play and rallied to win in the final moments its third straight game – 260th of the season – with a 105-103 victory over the Photosynthesis in the S3.

“To talk about 260 is pretty impressive, especially with the loss of players before the game,” coach Seth O’Dowd said. Indeed, several Invertebrate players were expelled from the league not a week ago for grazing on Photosynthesis players.

“I’ve been playing with some of the Asteraceae since the Eocene. The loss of them ultimately lowered the teams morale,” stated Photosynthesis player Nyssa Sal Vatica.

Photosynthesis was able to take an early lead that left the Invertebrate team trailing at the half. The Photosynthesis offensive effort was lead by several players from Rafflesiaceae who gave a large and showy display.

“We were just distracted, when we have played other spurges the players haven’t been as large,” cried an Invertebrate player off record. The Photosynthesis altered their defensive strategy throughout the game keeping the Invertebrates on their appendages.

Early on several plants released chemicals repelling the Invertebrate players. By the second quarter several Photosynthesis players increased turned several Invertebrate players against themselves by increasing the efficiency of predators that eventually lead to a loss of herbivore teammates. “We just wanted to keep the intensity,” O’Dowd said. “But the changing offense there were a lot of hurdles tonight we had to overcome. By halftime we lost over half of players” With several Invertebrate players lost at 3:42 left in the second quarter, Photosynthesis went on a 14-4 run to take a 62-54 halftime lead.

Photosynthesis was poised to continue its winning streak until in a surprise move in the second half O’Dowd changed starters. “Urchins have always been a great asset to the team and we decided to gear our offense toward them.” Urchins had a great history in the Caribbean League until 1984 when players went missing. The drastic loss of players allowed Photosynthesis to dominate that league until recently urchins made a comeback. Urchins prevented the return of kelp and other algae for the rest the game that lead to eventual victory for the Invertebrates.

Last night’s game was shrouded in controversy as expected from the Invertebrate team that has spent most of the season amongst scandal. Several key Invertebrate players, all from Cnidaria, failed to suit up for the game. “I have been in a intimate relationship with someone from Photosynthesis for several millennia. I didn’t seem fair play for my team with such a tie to other team,” stated Cassiopeia before the game.

Dr. M (1801 Posts)

Craig McClain is the Executive Director of the Lousiana University Marine Consortium. He has conducted deep-sea research for 20 years and published over 50 papers in the area. He has participated in and led dozens of oceanographic expeditions taken him to the Antarctic and the most remote regions of the Pacific and Atlantic. Craig’s research focuses on how energy drives the biology of marine invertebrates from individuals to ecosystems, specifically, seeking to uncover how organisms are adapted to different levels of carbon availability, i.e. food, and how this determines the kinds and number of species in different parts of the oceans. Additionally, Craig is obsessed with the size of things. Sometimes this translated into actually scientific research. Craig’s research has been featured on National Public Radio, Discovery Channel, Fox News, National Geographic and ABC News. In addition to his scientific research, Craig also advocates the need for scientists to connect with the public and is the founder and chief editor of the acclaimed Deep-Sea News (, a popular ocean-themed blog that has won numerous awards. His writing has been featured in Cosmos, Science Illustrated, American Scientist, Wired, Mental Floss, and the Open Lab: The Best Science Writing on the Web.