It’s a questions that has plagued the life sciences for years. In the ultimate cage match to the death who would be the winner, a humungous squid or a sperm whale? Animal Face Off on the Discovery Science will tackle that question this Friday at 7:30 pm. Moreover, for your viewing pleasure the episode will be double the normal length. Even better the episode features squid expert extraordinaire Steve O’Shea vs. American whale scientist Scott Baker. My vote is obviously for the humungous squid and it appears that the chosen squid is the Colossal Squid. 500kgs and 12 meters in length with camouflage rendering it invisible, arms full of vicious, flesh-ripping hooks, and a passion for fighting dirty. It also doesn’t hurt that Team Fighting Squid is fronted by Steve.
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Animal Face-Off first aired…gosh, 3 years ago? 4? Something like that. I was SOOOO looking forward to it. It would put to rest the most fun debates ever! Who wins in a deathmatch?
Sadly, the show miserably disappointed. It was awful. They stretched 10 minutes of actual show out into a whole hour. They spent a long time building mostly useless animal models, then had the face-off play out, scripted, in a 3D animation, usually with an absolutely ridiculous outcome.
For example, the playout of Lion vs. Tiger:
“The lion tackles the tiger with a surprise charge. The tiger tried to bite the lion’s throat, but the lion’s mane protected it. The big cats scratched each other, but neither could lay a killer blow. The tiger tried a neck bite, but the lion’s mane deflected its aim. Finally, the lion bit the tiger’s throat.”
Deflected with it’s MANE? A Tiger? You gotta be kidding me…
Anyway. Whale vs. Squid – I won’t spoil the ending for you, but it’s lame.
Um, Clark (1980)* found lots of evidence of colossal squid beaks in sperm whale stomachs, no? No offense to the squid (and cephalopod lovers everywhere), but seems like this one is over before it begins, barring the occasional bad day for the whale. Maybe next time we can have “Bear vs. Salmon”?
FGD
*Clarke, M.R. 1980. Cephalopoda in the diet of sperm whales of the southern hemisphere and their bearing on sperm whale biology. Discovery Reports 37: 1-324.
I realize I am voting for the underdog.
HI GUYS,I LOVE ALL YOUR BATTLES.
PLS,CAN YOU GUYS DO A BATTLE ON NILE CROCDILLE VS AMERICAN ALLIGATOR &TIGER VS NILE CROC ALSO CHEETAH VS ,LEOPARD