Best of the Abyss and DSN: The Judges

2007 at DSN…Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. For 2008…Work It Harder, Make It Better, Do It Faster, which will Make Us Stronger. As usual as the end of year comes up I get a bit weepy and nostalgic. During this time I send Peter an email harassing him to produce the Best of DSN and Best of the Abyss. Peter this year gently reminded me it was my turn. This year I trekked around the globe and found experts in many fields to find the best of 2007. Well…actually I spent a half-hour emailing people I actually thought I could sucker into this. The judges are hodgepodge of internet semi-celebrities, closeted debutants, science ubergeeks, wacko-liberal-atheists nutjobs, and pinko-commie-dolphin-huggers with a combined weight close to my gin consumption for last year. Stay tuned for the absolute BEST of 2007.

The judges:

Jim Lemire of from Archaea to Zeaxanthol, dedicated teacher and warper of young minds, inordinate fondness of rum and Darwin, forced students to read DSN, potentially saltier than me

Christina Kellogg, fanatical for microbial theme weeks, repository for 80’s culture, masochistic government employee, actually reads DSN, definitely smarter and more attractive than me

The Brothers Belimann of Zoologix, passionate about forbidden passions, vaudevillian humorists except on Tuesdays, actually triplets who molt on Tuesdays, may have heard of DSN, liable to be more insane than me

Sheril Kirshenbaum of The Intersection, ghostwriter of the Republican War on Science and some book on hurricanes, triple threat as singer/songwriter/dancer, the person you love to hate because they’re good at everything but can’t because they’re actually nice, heard of DSN first when I emailed her to be a judge, absolutely signs more autographs than me

David W. Kerstetter, spends most of time thinking about fish, spend rest of time thinking about fish thinking, raised by manatees in Belize rescued by a magical marlin who transported him to Florida, wrote 11 pages on J-style hooks but completely ignored the dreaded O-hook, reads DSN out of pity, probably eats more fish than me

MikeG, microbial DJ extraordinaire, like Christina with a great big bushy beard, wanted to be brewmaster but went for fame and fortune with USGS, reads DSN but doesn’t generally want others to know, same blood type and potential organ donor for me

Kevin Zelnio of the Other 95%, the Frasier of DSN, more talented but not as cute as Justin Timberlake, 15 time winner of the Southeast Pennsylvanian Noodling Jamboree, taught his children how to make macaroni sculptures of invertebrates, only reads DSN to see if we plugged his blog, only links to DSN when he references his old posts here, when he gets his Ph.D. will be a cooler, smarter, younger version of me.

4 Replies to “Best of the Abyss and DSN: The Judges”

  1. Wacko-liberal-atheists nutjob and aspiring science ubergeek checking in (Chris forwarded the email)

    Well, I see some serious consideration is needed…

    BTW which of the bronze bas reliefs is me? I recognize Sheril and the bros B. (they hardly look related), and Chris, Jim, and KevinZ is obvious… Clicking the links… OK the other is David.

    Sweet! I’m the Aristotle looking guy? That would so feed my ego…

    I’l have a look through the posts and have some votes for you soon.
    Would you prefer them by email or can I leave them as a comment?
    (Forgive all the ellipses, at least I only had three parentheticals.)

  2. “That would so feed my ego…”

    Come on, Mike — we’re real-life marine biologists, so the simple act of breathing feeds the ego for most of us!

    No, in all seriousness, it’s great to be in such good company, and I’ll buy each of you a beer if/when I actually meet you. In the meantime, here’s to a great 2008 for DSN.

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