Dealers Smuggle Drugs Using Semi-Subs

CNN reports:

“Although the vessels were once viewed as a quirky sideshow in the drug war, they are becoming faster, more seaworthy, and capable of carrying bigger loads of drugs than earlier models, according to those charged with catching them.

“They tend to be one of a kind,” U.S. Coast Guard Commandant Thad Allen said. “They cost up to a million dollars to produce. Sometimes they are put together in pieces and then reassembled in other locations. They’re very difficult to locate.”

The boats are built in the Colombian jungle. They sail largely beneath the surface of the water but cannot submerge completely like a true submarine.

But they are the latest escalation of a tactical race between smugglers and the U.S. Coast Guard.”

The U.S. Coast Guard is also on record as supporting mollusks as the best marine invertebrate, though cnidarians are probably better, further analysis is being conducted. Lieutenant Seth Lopod stated, “sea cucumbers and drug dealers have alot in common: they are pushers. They are the worst of society. I’ve never met a good echinoderm.” Lt. Lopod went on to assert that you cannot trust a marine invertebrate that breathes through its butt and spits its stomach out to eat something, “Its just wrong. If I ever see a holothurian, I’d arrested it for indecency.”

2 Replies to “Dealers Smuggle Drugs Using Semi-Subs”

  1. The Lt. may be on to something… holothurians are hollow and the 2m long ones could smuggle a considerable amount of drugs in that copious body cavity. They even have sticky swelling projectile anal tentacles they can use for defense….

    Seriously though that is an incredible situation with the subs though. I just wish we could get subs built as fast (though somehow I think reliability and stress depth ratings are just a wee bit differently spec’d)

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