Game of Trolls

We here at Deep Sea News pride ourselves on bringing you the BEST DAMN OCEAN SCIENCE PERIOD. With that mission, we hope to inspire our followers to care about the ocean, share with your friends, and even join the conversation.

Bottom line. We love hearing from you. Fan mail is the best mail.

With all of this Fukushima business, well let’s just say it’s a good thing the team member we put in charge of reading the mail has eight arms. The e-mailbox at our super, not-so-secret lair has been bursting at the seams as of late.

The greater majority of your feedback has been fabulous. We love hearing your questions and we hope that we have been able to provide satisfying answers. Keep them coming!

With that said, not all our fan mail has been dolphins and sea butterflies.

Alas, it seems as if a troll army has found our lair (hence, the not-so-secret bit). Let’s just say, some of our followers have been quite creative with their words (and their death threats) lately.

Many of you might wonder how we deal with some of the more negative bits of our job. It’s simple really. Same way we deal with everything else.  A bit of humor and a bottle of rum.

We even came up with a fun drinking game!

For those of you who wish to play with us or are perhaps dealing with your own trolls, pick your poison and pull up a stool! First rounds on us.

Photo Cred: 9GaG
Photo Cred: 9GaG


  1. FOR COMMENTS IN ALL CAPS. Take a shot. Capitals mean you really mean it, so you best take that shot like you really mean it. If not, you get to take two.
  2. Comments demanding who we work for. Start drinking your drink, don’t stop till our “boss” tells you.
  3. Comments claiming we are getting paid off by <insert entity here>. Got to use that big money some how. Buy a round for everyone in the group cause that’s what good sugar daddies do.
  4. References to mythical creatures. Take a shot. Repeat. Repeat again. Continue till everywhere you look people have mermaid tails. This could be a while so feel free to sing “Under the Sea” between each shot.  This will really help you get into the spirit of things.
  5. Claims regarding governmental cover-ups. They may have bugged your shot glass. Proceed with caution. Then take a shot.
  6. Comments with unsubstantiated scientific evidence.  Drink this. It’s scientifically proven to put hair on your chest. By some scientists…somewhere. But I don’t quite remember where.
  7. Death threats. Everyone pours their shots into single cup. Last person to do so…you have been chosen to be hit with the “death threat.” So sad to see you go. Now drink up. As with comments, we give points for creativity. You’re probably not gonna make it anyways, mine as well go out in style.
  8. Questioning of credentials (ex. You say you’re a ‘doctor’? Right…). Take a shot for every year you have been in college. The person who has taken the most shots AND is still standing….There is your doctor.
  9. Comments with lots of !!!!!!! Take a shot. For. Each. One.
  10. “For science in quotation marks.” Take a shot. And then go home. You’re obviously drunk.
  11. Claims we are not actively doing anything to solve the problem.  Everyone sits down.  Nobody takes a shot, but everyone complains about not taking a shot.

We acknowledge that there is all sorts of fun that could be added to our “Game of Trolls” list. Feel free to contribute your favorites. Cheers. 

12 Replies to “Game of Trolls”

  1. Do we take shots for every curse word as well? I want to make sure I approach this mission with all my ducks in a row. This is purely for scientific research you understand. Also should I be concerned that when I turn the lights off my rum glows in the dark?

    Clearly you’re being PAID OFF by the international society of troll haters, either that or you’re government shills covering up the truth. If you’re not – tell us who you really work for!!!!!!!

    Research has already shown that comments are more likely to be accurate than the ‘news stories’ under which they’re written, even when such stories are supposedly about ‘science’. I would have thought ‘doctors’ would know this.


  3. Excellent response! One bottle of Sailor Jerry’s on me!

    Seriously, it’s usually the people with the hidden (or not so hidden) agendas who go around pointing the “hidden agenda/conspiracy” finger, so ignoring them is often best. But, if it gets to death threats, consider reporting them to the authorities. That shit is never acceptable!

    Keep up the excellence! Terresa

  4. While I have the utmost respect for your article and other recent articles on Deep Sea News regarding Fukushima, I would put forth that as elements within the Japanese government, TEPCO and the US Government have all engaged in: withholding information, disinformation and outright lies it is no wonder many of us are scratching our heads as to what to believe.

    In this internet information reformation age, sifting through the information is a must, however,r I would say that if you are attacked, dismissing those that seek the truth as fear-mongering nuts plays into the notion that you may be “paid off shills.” Also, magazines like Popular Mechanics and Scientific American are not sources that are free of corporate financer influence.
    Seeing as how there is almost no information being offered by the Government or other agencies, we are only told to “not worry about it”, this is condescending. So too is bragging about how many years you spent in school…we can’t all be doctors.

    We are being told fish is safe to eat. Why is the government not releasing any data on this? Why is the government not profusely monitoring the ocean, fish, grass etc and making it public as they did in the months following the explosion? This makes people suspicious.
    Check out what Arnie Gunderson of Fairwinds Energy has to say on this topic. Also look at Dr. Chis Busby at the LLRC, (Low Level Radiation Campaign).
    There major concern many gloss over is that of “low-level radiation” and bio-accumulation. Many credible experts like Gunderson and Busby believe that low level radiation may in fact be worse. The data and evidence is still up for debate as the methods of collecting the data may be flawed as some suggest. Also, there is a big difference between ingesting a radionuclide and being exposed to background radiation on an airplane.

    To sum it up, I will check out more of your articles but I hope that you can all comprehend the healthy distrust we have for most corporate financed talking points and government disinformation that surrounds us every day, this is a fact. If you assert that the government would never lie to us… or that they would but just not about this…. this will breed distrust as well.

    Thanks for listening and keep on keeping us informed of what you know, it will be of great benefit. Just try to do your work and try not to write off those seeking the truth.

    The truth will often out itself in time.

  5. So sorry you have to be at the receiving end of all this. I truly appreciate all you do! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  6. Hahahaha Fantastic counter-troll my good sirs/ladies. “The person who has taken the most shots AND is still standing….There is your doctor.” <- this statement is highly accurate. I applaud you, continue the good work.

  7. Very well said, Jason. Problem about truth coming out in time, though, is that in this situation time is of the essence. I’m hoping (actually praying) to find enough truth soon enough to make a difference to my (and all others’) health and welfare.

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